Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
