Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
