before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
