Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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