i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
