I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
