I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
