Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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