Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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