should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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