Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
