Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
