She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
