It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
