Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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