no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
