I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
