We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
MIDGETS
????
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
