If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
