Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
