You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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