Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
