so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
