all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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