Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
