These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
