well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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