Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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