I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The air was thick with penises
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
