Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
