I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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