Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
