I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
