I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
