Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
