Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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