haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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