My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
