You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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