butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
