is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
