I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
