I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
