Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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