He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
