Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We have so much sex to catch up on
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize