bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
COCAINE IS GR8
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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