There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
