I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
