Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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