So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
