i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
His nipple licking is glorious
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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