Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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