Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
