Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
